party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
