you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
