DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
