Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
