no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
