I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
