Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
