the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
