guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
