ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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