so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
