Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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