Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
