I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
