There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
