If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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