There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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