Having a random hookup so left but love u
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
third nipple confirmed
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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