Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
