Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
