guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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