Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
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