You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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