I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
