Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
