We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
