My friends, they love my intelligence
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
