I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
