why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
