At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
