Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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