Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize