Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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