you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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