just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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