So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
