i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My liver just had a heart attack.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
