Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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