there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Oh god it's open bar.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
