I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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