they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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