He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize