omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
