spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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