I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize