walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Still dying that you shit outside
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
