Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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