Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
