I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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