She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
