she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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