My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
