She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize