"it" just moved
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
