i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
