Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
