the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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