how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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