She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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