She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
