Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
