One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just gift wrapped bread.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
