Porn is love you can see.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
someone owes me an orgasm
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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