it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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