I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
