i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
