After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
